"THE SOLOIST" AND CHILD-REARING

     I heard a radio interview by Steve Lopez, author of The Soloist. I have yet to see the movie, but I was struck by the lyricism of the passage he read and decided to purchase his book.

     The story, of course, is compelling -- how Lopez, L.A. Times columnist, discovers a former rising star at Juilliard, now on Skid Row, and slowly helps the broken man rediscover himself.
     Their saga could also be a possible blueprint for educators and parents of troubled children, teens, and young adults. When difficulties arise, especially when someone under our care becomes difficult, we may try to impose our expectations on them. Or, exhausted, we may stop. "There's nothing I can do," we throw voices and hands into the air. "When he decides to change, he'll change."

     Lopez, in his hugely-challenging relationship with Nathaniel Ayers, combines both. He looks for what he feels Ayers must silently yearn for, excellence in classical music, then arranges the stage beforehand. Indoor apartment. Donated instruments. Music lessons. Makeshift studio. Exposure to great musicians.
     Lopez watches. Waits. Offers again. And again. And again. Perhaps most importantly of all, he establishes himself as someone Ayers can trust. Then, when Ayers is ready to move, Lopez has his set ready.

     It is a struggle; Ayers slides and fights and bumps and reverts. But he is succeeding. As Nathaniel would say, "Bravo."
     Now back to those children of ours...

     

THE CHILD WHISPERER

  

      My brother hooked me onto "The Dog Whisperer." He has dogs; I do not. But watching Caesar Millan take these animals -- neurotic, aggressive, terrified, withdrawn -- and within a day or so change them into well-adjusted pets is inspiring to watch.
     The dogs obey. They wait patiently. They wag their tails. Of course, much of his work is teaching the dog's owners how to act around their pets, but both humans and dogs appear immensely pleased. Dog and human now know what is expected of them. Everyone wins.
     I don't have dogs. But I do have classrooms of children. How could I not see the connection? I think my students enjoy coming to class -- they laugh, they chatter -- but still, there are those days. Whining children. Argumentative children. Pouting children.
     I do feel a bit ashamed, connecting the training dogs to the teaching children. Apparently, though, I'm not the only one. Belkin in her New York Times blog, Motherload, tells how many others think of Millan as "The Child Whisperer."
      I must say, after "The Dog Whisperer," I no longer feel the need to justify my words or actions to my students. I establish the rules in the classroom and the consequences for not following them. I periodically review these with the class (though not when anyone is disruptive). When someone acts up, I nod or point. The child knows what to do; if she choose not to follow the silent directive, there's a second -- or even a third -- consequence. From my nod or my point, she knows. I say nothing. (Okay, I'm not completely cured of that. I do have my days.)
     When I now ask these K-6 students who's "boss" in the room, they all point at me. They do it very matter-of-factly. No laugh, no smirk. They point. They know.
     Too bad there was no "Dog Whisperer" when I was raising my boys. I would have been a better parent. A lot less arguing. I would have been a lot happier.
     I'm sure my boys would have been, too.


Photo credit: 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13723940@N04/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

DESIRE TO HELP OTHERS APPEARS INNATE IN BABIES

  
     I saved an article from the New York Times back in November. It tells of children as young as a year old who actively try to help adults in need, perhaps demonstrating that such behavior is innate in humans. Biologists find such helpfulness crosses culture lines with young children, that training does not improve this inclination, and that interactions in later years with peers and family members may then impact their helpfulness -- or lack of it. Interesting.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pollock/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

WHERE KIDS WOULD VISIT IF GIVEN THE CHANCE

       The New York Times Learning Network asked kids where they'd most like to visit in the world. Canada. South Africa. MIddle East.Sri Lanka. Antartica.       
       Not one of them mentioned Disneyworld. 
       So I when I was called in to cover a third grade classroom while a teacher was called elsewhere, I asked these students where they'd most like to go. I did get one "Branson," the country-themed town in Missouri. But the rest gave articles like the children in this article -- Haiti, Israel, Africa, Antarctica.
      Says a lot about you, kids. Good for you.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pardeshi/ / CC BY 2.0